So, a lot has happened in a year...

It's been one year and three months since my last blog post. And what a year it has been.

First of all, as most of you know, I went and got myself pregnant. I mean I guess not all by myself. Chris pitched in. I didn't keep up with the blog during my pregnancy. So, if you were looking forward to preggo-posts, you were shit-outa-luck. And if you were relieved that I didn't do preggo-posts, you're welcome. But take note, post-preggo posts are coming. Because there are actually some first-time mom's out here who wanna know my story. You know I don't hold back.

Next big thing to happen since I left off, was the planet decided it had had enough of humanity. Between a virus that has basically shut down our way of life and social unrest at a boiling point, it really blows my mind that THIS is the world I brought a child into? Seriously?

DELILAH HAS REGULAR TEMPERATURE CHECKS WITH AN INFRARED THERMOMETER.

And this is the precarious moment I've decided to delve back into blogging. The Coronavirus Pandemic of 2020. Fucking COVID-19. Thankfully, the majority of my pregnancy was experienced pre-pandemic. And I was very lucky to have been able to have the baby shower I did. I believe the same day of my shower was the same day the first person in the USA was diagnosed with this strangely impervious virus. This was February 2020. And my baby shower was a very happy little get-together that we all enjoyed - blissfully unaware of how everything, our entire existence and way of living, was about to change.

GRAFFITI OUTSIDE ONE OF CHRIS'S CONSTRUCTION SITES, SHUT-DOWN FROM COVID-19.

My baby shower would be the last time I would be getting together with family and friends to celebrate a milestone. At least for the foreseeable future. And as I write this, it is July 21st and we are still encouraged not to gather in groups. "Social Distancing" has entered our lives and our vocabulary on a daily basis.

I went into labor March 23rd. Baby Delilah was born the next day at about 2am. And it was the most uneventful, dare I say, easiest labor. We checked in, and she was in the world a few hours later. And my God was I grateful for such an easy birth. But the days leading up to this miracle were filled with fear and anxiety - and not so much from my upcoming labor, but the circumstances in which Delilah would be entering the world.

March 2020 was the beginning of the lock-down, "shelter-in-place" orders, and when they took effect, it seemed as if we had been transported into an episode of the Twilight Zone. And Chris was suddenly home. All the time. Construction was deemed an "essential service" but Chris stayed home for weeks leading up to Delilah's birth and then after. We just couldn't risk him getting the virus and bringing it home.

The streets were empty. All day. All night. No traffic. No one commuting to their job. No one being dropped off at school. No one doing anything normal. And at first, this giant sleepover seemed like a nice respite from the general huh-bub of life. Working from home? Amazing! Sleeping in? Even better. What? No school? Yessssssssss! (said every child in America) Alcohol deliveries? I mean who can complain?? Certainly not the mother's who had been forced, overnight, into new careers as school teachers. Happy Hour is now any hour you like.

Reality settled in fast. Because people started dying. People here. In America. It wasn't just a problem in Asia or Europe anymore. People were dying and still are. Ugly, torturous deaths. And unfortunately, killing the most vulnerable in society. Babies miraculously coming out unscathed, for the most part. But the elderly and those with already compromised immune systems were the target of COVID-19. And it spread like wildfire. Consuming our planet. Every nation touched. Almost every family reporting a loss, some losing multiple family members.

Fear of this unknown terror caused mass panic. And suddenly you couldn't find toilet paper, hand sanitizer or Clorox cleaning products anywhere. Store shelves were left bare as people stocked up on basic necessities and Mountain Dew. lol.

Fear affected every aspect of everyday life. And so, to avoid contamination, hospitals all over the country started banning visitors. You're dying you say? Sorry. Only allowed one person by your side. Going into labor? Oh, this is your first baby? Sorry. Your partner cannot be in the delivery room. No exceptions. Did we say we're sorry? Yeah.

Dying alone and bringing a new life into the world, alone, are not experiences I wish on anyone.

Thankfully, officials who make these rules decided there needed to be some leniency. And the ban on husbands/partners being in delivery rooms was lifted...but not before 2 weeks passed of women having to give birth solo. I feel for those mothers and their partners.

And so Chris was able to be there with Delilah and I the whole time. Holding my hand and generally pissing me off as I battled contractions. It was exactly how I hoped it would be. And we were lucky. Delilah was born right smack dab in the middle of one of the worst possible scenarios. But she made it. We made it.

It dawned on us as we drove our bundle home. No one would be visiting her. My sweet, precious little girl, who had been wanted for so long and everyone so eager to meet her, would have no one come to see her. Out of an abundance of caution.

At first, this didn't bother me and I looked at it as rather a blessing. Not being bombarded with visits after you give birth isn't the worst thing in the world. My labor may have been heaven. But my recuperation was literal Hell. And so my new little family hid, tucked away from the world. Delilah's only visits taking place over Facetime and Zoom video calls.

My parents and my sister and her husband were the only ones allowed to come visit. They had self-quarantined about a month before it was enforced on everyone. They didn't want to miss out Delilah coming home for the first time. And I can't blame them. They were all supposed to be in the waiting room at the hospital to welcome Delilah. My mom was supposed to be in the delivery room. Of course none of this was possible.

If you have thoughts and opinions on my allowing my immediate family over to see my newborn, reserve your judgement. Navigating the new world with a newborn is almost constant paranoia for new parents.

After some time, we allowed other family members to have their first baby visit. Some family opted to just see her through the glass sliding door in our backyard. OR go through our extensive process of shoe-removal, hand washing, sanitizer, gloves and finally a mask. My family would change clothes into something totally fresh out of the dryer before coming over. Sometimes they didn't come in at all, opting to just leave us groceries and meals on the front porch.

All of this panic and anxiety and extreme caution finally broke me at some point. And I cried. I cried for my daughter. This was not the experience I had envisioned for her arrival. I felt she was being deprived of all the love and excitement and fanfare over a new baby that always comes with a new arrival. It's not fair. That is so immature for me to say. But it's how I felt. How I still feel. It's a rather shitty experience to have everyone have to wear a mask and gloves to touch your child. It's cold. It's morbid. It sucks. And currently, after Delilah's shots, we allow family to see her and hold her without gloves and a mask.

And all the while I've not only kept a record of Delilah's entrance into the COVID world, but I've kept a record of all that's been going on around us as well. My intention was to create a short pictorial documentary that I intend to show Delilah when she's older. Documenting how the world around has changed with no end in sight. As there is no cure, no vaccine for the current plague trying to wipe us out.

My short documentary can be seen in the video linked below. All photos are mine, with the exception of the personal photos sent to me by family and friends. Their names have been left out for privacy reasons. duh.