This past Sunday, Marshalls posted the above collage, featuring me, wearing a simple, black, jersey romper I got at their Mountain View location. Pretty harmless shots of me walking around one afternoon, casually hanging out in my comfy romper. You can actually view my blog post associated with this photo HERE. And as you can recall, I've been a sponsored Marshalls blogger for the past year. So, it was no surprise that I be featured on their Facebook page.
What was a surprise was the intense negativity this post apparently brought on, as witnessed by a lot of my readers. While the post has garnered almost 3,000 "likes" it was comments such as the following that dominated the feed:
I've noticed, since beginning this post, that almost 20 comments have disappeared from the Marshalls post - either by Marshalls deeming them overtly offensive, Facebook removing them or the commentators themselves removing their own comments, perhaps out of shame. In any case, the most offensive comments are no longer there and the ones I quoted above are remnants of some pretty awful and deplorable commentary.
And so I felt I needed to address the issue in a blog post. I was shocked by the outpour of positive, cheerful, caring, loving, encouraging comments that surged the Marshalls commentary feed after you guys took note of all the ugly comments people had left, attacking my physique.
I can't thank you enough for taking the time to care. For your support. The private messages and emails I've received have shown me the blog is a lot more far-reaching than I thought.
What happened on Sunday was disappointing more than anything. Woman after woman, leaving ugly comments, picking apart my body. Assumptions being made on my diet and my weight and what kind of a person I am.
Out of curiosity, I checked out the profiles on Facebook of some of these women who were leaving these horrid comments, and what do you think I found?
I found teachers, mothers, professionals...and I thought to myself. What are these women teaching their students, their daughters? Is this the type of ugly behavior they preach? Is this what they're passing on? I have to admit, I was shocked when one profile resulted in a relatively pleasant-looking teacher, globe in the background and all.....her comments were particulary alarming and have since disappeared, but nevertheless, she's a teacher. What kinds of thoughts and opinions do you think she's passing on to her students? It makes one wonder.
WHY is it the new social norm that it's perfectly acceptable to pick on skinny people? The idea being perpetuated now is that skinny people have done something to themselves, unnaturally, to BE skinny. So, it's okay to call out those skinny people and let them have it! Fuck you you skinny bitch. YOU NEED A BURGER.....because that line never get's old...
And it get's worse. Another idea constantly in my face now is that I'm not a "real" woman. You know, because "real women" have curves. And even though I have a vagina, I'm most definitely not considered a "real woman" by today's standards.
I'm 30. I'm 5'4. I weigh about 100 lbs. I'm skinny with small boobs. That's me. That's how I have always been. My metabolism got lost somewhere in 1999...I can't help my body, my frame, the genes I was fucking born with!
Would I be considered a "real woman" if I got fake curves? Not happening. I have always loved my body. I'm not making any apologies now or ever for my appearance. Insecurity and lack of self-confidence are like diseases that destroy people from the inside out.....and if I had actually paid any attention to those awful comments left for me on Sunday, I might have given in to the disease of thinking I'm not good enough. That something's wrong with me. That I'm not a real woman.
A friend of mine who had encouraged me a while ago to write about this topic, had a rather interesting pregnancy, being a skinny girl like myself. She confided that all throughout her pregnancy, she was bombarded by unprovoked and unecessary commentary, in the form of "advice"...."You know you're eating for 2 now." or "Are you sure you're eating enough? Because you don't look like you're gaining enough weight."
Since when do people think it's their right to tell others what they think about their weight? What the hell happened? So, I suppose with the current mentality, it should be fine for me to criticise someone who I think is overwieght. What if I were to tell them that I thought they were living an unhealthy lifestyle. That maybe they shouldn't eat burgers.
What is the difference between telling someone they need to eat a burger and telling someone they shoudn't eat a burger?? Both are equally offensive. DUH.
In conclusion, mean people suck. Throw rocks at them....okay not really. Well, maybe. But in all seriousness, please stop perpetuating the notion that skinny girls are not real women. Stop the ugly insults against fellow women. Stop thinking that the things you say don't have an affect on the world. Stop and think. Raise your daughters to be strong, beautiful, confident women and encourage them to inspire that in all the women they ever encounter.
For those who have been messaging me with questions:
Marshalls has not contacted me personally or made any comment regarding what happened on their Sunday Facebook post. And no, they have not taken the post down even though a lot of you felt they should.
My stance is that Marshalls has been good to me and that they had nothing but good intentions when that post went live. They can't be held responsible for innumerable stupid comments. My feelings are that Marshalls wouldn't have posted a photo of me if they thought it would in any way provoke or encourge any type of hate/bullying commentary. I'm sure they were just as confused/disgusted by it all. Although, I wouldn't know because I have not heard from the company regarding the issue.
And again, I cannot thank you, my amazing readers for all your love and support and for basically just being my girls! My ladies to my rescue! You're all so amazing and you give me strength with all your encouragement and positivity.
"Here's to strong women.
May we know them.
May we be them.
May we raise them."
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