This is 41

“Years. Lovers. Glasses of wine. These are things that should never be counted.”

- Italian proverb 

Tossed 99% of my Skin & Hair products. This is Why.

Yup. That’s me. NO filters. Just reality.

Yep. You read that correctly. I legit had to get rid of basically every single skin and hair product I used. Needless to say, it was rough. Most products, a lot of them brand new, I gave away to my mom and friends. The thing is there was nothing wrong with the actual products themselves. They were, or more accurately had become, wrong for ME. Wrong for MY skin. Wrong for MY hair.

So, how did that happen?? What went wrong? How did I even discover there was an issue?

The skin on my face was the first thing to start giving me issues. Major ones. It was like one morning I woke up and everything had changed. It was THAT dramatic. It was likely a long time coming, but when my skin changed, it was overnight. And it was terrible.

At first it started off with me waking up to an oily face. Like extremely oily. I never had an oily complexion before. If anything my skin has almost always been on the drier side, so oily was new. Then, tiny white bumps appeared, blanketing my forehead. Easily confused with white heads. But these were different. They were tinier and more pervasive. And they were not going away like whiteheads eventually do.

Then, cystic acne reared its ugly head. All over my face, my jaw line, my hairline and my neck. At first, I quickly attributed my newly problematic skin with some new product I had been sent to test out…I mean, what else could it possibly be?? I even stopped getting those expensive but oh-so-worth-it Hydrafacials because they were simply not doing a damn thing for me anymore. And it was depressing. Incredibly depressing. Why wasn’t the best, newest facial on the market not having any effect on me anymore?? I was at an absolute loss. 

With my hair continuing to fall out and my skin taking a turn for the worse, my soul was taking a hit too. And my mind was next. My battle with my skin started becoming an issue in September 2022 as I was getting ready for a wedding. Packing on the makeup to try and conceal my new problems. Then came NewYear’s Eve. December 2022 was my last hurrah so to speak. For someone who hates wearing makeup, I had to spend a lot of time covering up my face NYE. And I hated it. How my confidence was deflated. How my plans were slowly getting shifted or canceled. After NYE, I wouldn’t be going out in public or showing much of my face on social media for the next 3-4 months. If I was tending to my social media obligations, you better believe it was filtered. It’s kinda hard when you’re paid to show your face and talk about shit when you can’t show your face and talk about shit. But at some point, not even filters could hide my problem.

End of February, beginning of March 2023 was the catalyst. Something had to be done because hiding in my house wasn’t a realistic option. I was starting to miss lockdown days during the pandemic! And so I set off on a months-long-journey where I would discover exactly what was causing my skin to take a turn for the worse. And it had a lot more to do than just changing my skin and hair products. This was going to require a whole lifestyle change.

Right off the bat I learned that my main battle was with this pesky thing thing called age. Thanks to AGE, I was experiencing hormonal changes. And these hormonal changes were being exacerbated by my habitually shitty routines. Hormones change. And therefore, so must you. It sucks. I literally went from being able to eat and drink whatever the hell I wanted, and using whatever products I wanted, to having to cut ALL that out. Youth is a beautiful experience. Soak it up babes. Because once 40 started knocking on my door, GONE were the days of me waking up with a double-cappuccino and ending it with a Diet Coke. No more lazy, late-night, fast-food DoorDash orders from McDonalds. 

OKAY…so, what changes did I have to make:

1. Bye-Bye Skin products. Serums, masks, moisturizers, washes & exfoliators.

2. Bye-Bye Hair products. Shampoo’s, conditioner’s, hair masks, dry shampoo, hairspray etc.

3. Changed our laundry detergent. No more Gain or Tide or the usual suspects.

4. Started using additional water filtration in my bathroom. My shower specifically.

5. Most importantly, I stopped drinking so much coffee and Diet Coke. Started drinking more H2O.

6. Started getting monthly scalp massages/scrubs to improve my scalp + mental well-being.

7. Started getting monthly laser treatments to my face to help diminish all the damage from acne/scarring.

8. Change my pillowcase every night or at least every other night + sleep with a humidifier. And using a new face towel to dry my face every day after washing.

9. Bye-Bye fast food. Adios. We had a great run. But fast food 100% had to go.

10. Adding pre/probiotics to my routine + an acne/age-fighting supplement to boot.

So, let’s delve into each of the 10 steps I’ve taken to accommodate my ever-changing body without completely losing my mind.

Sitting down, sifting through all my products and educating myself.

So, first off I started by checking ALL the ingredients in my skincare by scanning them for what’s known as “pore-clogging” ingredients. This HANDY list of pore-clogging ingredients was compiled by the founders of Clear Stem Skincare, and I will provide this list below. Clear Stem Skincare has this list readily available and linked on their website. And it is by this list that I now live by. It is my Holy Grail. Checking ALL of my skincare took weeks and it was tedious. 

Listing the problematic ingredients on all my skin and haircare.

Something important to note - don’t confuse “clean” ingredients for non-pore-clogging ingredients. Just because a product is vegan or organic or leaping bunny certified or NSF or EWG verified (basically meaning they’re non toxic) doesn’t mean it’s good for YOUR skin. Just because a product is formulated with all-natural ingredients, avoiding synthetic ones, doesn’t mean those ingredients won’t clog your pores. And this is why it’s important to scrutinize those ingredient labels….Annnnnd drink every time I say ingredient! Ha! 

Anyway, it was certainly disheartening to realize that basically everything in my skincare arsenal had to go. I was going to have to start at square one. Eventually I got pretty good and I could do a quick scan of the back of a bottle and pick out the pore-cloggers right away. And thus, my bathroom shelves and cabinets were emptied…a strange sight for a self-proclaimed skincare and beauty blogger.

But skincare was not the only thing that needed an overhaul. Apparently even the ingredients in my haircare were setting my up for disaster as well. The same pore-clogging ingredients that clog the pores on your face are obviously going to do the same to the pores on your scalp. I mean it is just an extension of the skin on your face. So, the same ingredients that were making my face look like a greasy pan were making my scalp just as oily and temperamental. I had to give away all my precious shampoos and conditioners and start from scratch. Think of it like suddenly becoming allergic to ALL your products.

FOR EXAMPLE:

A particular moisturizer that I absolutely adored ended up being one of the biggest offenders for me when it came to those pesky pore-clogging ingredients. So, what were those offensive ingredients?

- Algae extract

- Avocado oil

- Disodium edta

- Ethylhexyl Palimate

- Glyceryl Stearate

- Hydrogenated vegetable oil

- Jojoba oil

- Sesame oil

- Squalane

Keep in mind, there’s essentially nothing wrong with any of these ingredients. Before I experienced hormonal changes, I was able to use products with those ingredients just fine. Only now have I had to pay close attention to avoiding ingredients, like avocado oil or jojoba oil or coconut oil. Which is also found in so much haircare. Finding an acceptable shampoo was quite a task too.

Ouai dry shampoo used to be my go-to until I found ingredients like Myristate, Disodium and Wheat; which are 3 ingredients that could be problematic for my scalp.

Another TIP: Famous dermatologist Dr. Leslie Baumann suggests AVOIDING products if Alcohol is listed in the first 7 positions on the ingredient label. Ingredients aren’t the only thing to note. Their positioning in the lineup on a label is important too. The first 5-10 ingredients are the most prevalent.

So, what is wrong with Alcohol? Didn’t used to bother my skin before…but that was BEFORE. Before my skin was easily rattled. Alcohol is too drying. Regular exposure damages your skin barrier, causing inflammation (oil production). Alcohol is so drying that the skin compensates by producing MORE oil. So before when I had dry skin, a little oil production stimulation was probably a good thing. BUT when my skin turned oil field overnight, an ingredient like Alcohol (for the most part) is something I now avoid. 

Cetearyl and Benzyl Alcholols are drying but considered okay. They function as emulsifiers and preservatives….it’s a lot. I know. 

Speaking of Alcohol, you might need to pour yourself a drink after reading all that science! LoL

Alcohol…not so great for the skin…but always great for cocktails.

Moving on. In my mind removing toxic ingredients from my life was futile if I was still washing my face and washing my hair with the same toxic water. OKAY so I know the water coming outa our faucets isn’t literally toxic. But if you saw what I saw, you’d think about adding some extra filtration to your faucets too. I have a Jolie filter shower head. So when I wash my face or brush my teeth in the shower and I’m washing my hair/body in the shower, I’m covered. Think of it like a Brita filter for your bathroom faucet, ensuring you’re using the best water you can. 

Now, filtered, clean-ass water isn’t going to bring you back from the depths of despair. Be real. These companies definitely advertise healthy hair growth and less skin issues if you use their filtration systems. But clean water alone will not fix whatever issue you’re having, be it with your scalp or your skin. In fact, no one thing alone is going to fix your issue, especially if it’s hormonal. MANY changes have to take place, and hell, clean AF water is just an added bonus. A little something extra I like to do for myself in my beauty and wellness journey. If I’m using cleaner products, I want clean water to accompany them. And so gone are the days of fabfitfun subscriptions and hello to my water filter subscriptions. Priorities people.

A few other changes I made that might seem unexpected…

Not only did I start changing my pillowcase every night and using fresh face towels every day, but I started washing sheets, towels and our clothes in Clean People detergent and drying them with Clean People dryer sheets. Clean People is free of parabens, phosphates, dyes and chlorine. None of the bad stuff that irritates skin and allergies. Packaging avoids those huge plastic jugs and arrives in easily recyclable cardboard. So, Good for my skin + good for the environment. Done and done. You can easily find this brand on Amazon too.

When I change out my pillowcase for a fresh new one every night, I also fill up my humidifier and make sure to get that going and I have it run all night while I’m sleeping. The humidifier helps keep my skin and my hair hydrated. But not overly-so. It’s just right. The calming mist keeps the temperature cool too while working alongside my air purifier. One filters the air and the other moistens it. Little valuable tools in my bedtime routine that I love. Less dust in the air + hydration is always a good idea. Oh, and why change my pillowcase every night? Duh! Because we sweat when we sleep. Oils from our face and our hair accumulate and well, I don’t think I need elaborate any more.

And speaking of hydration, outer is all good and stuff but it’s that INNER hydration that really screwed me. Water. I hated it. I still hate it. I’ve always hated water. It has no taste. No bubbles. No fun. No pizzazz. Nevermind it’s life sustaining qualities, I’ve avoided water for as long as I could. I used to live off of coffee’s and Diet Coke’s. I’d wake up with a double cap and maybe have another one. Soon to be followed by a slew of afternoon Diet Coke’s followed by dinner time Diet Coke’s. Oh, and my favorite dessert is pouring a cappuccino over vanilla ice cream. I don’t know about you, but at some point it did cross my mind that water was seriously lacking from my diet. I randomly wondered how sustainable this was when I realized I couldn’t remember when the last time was that I’d had water.

Through this journey of self-discovery, I learned that caffeine and dairy cause acne flare-ups. Refined sugar and dairy were literally like my best friends. “Dairy and whey contain insulin-like-growth factors which stimulate more oil in the sebaceous glands, actually changing the composition of your oil, making it thicker and harder to sweat out.”

“Refined sugar is found in most processed foods, snacks and beverages and contains ZERO nutrients. During digestion, sugar can pull vital minerals from your body. Spikes in blood sugar can result in increased sweat and oil and a subsequent spur of bacterial growth in our pores AND hair follicles” (which is why I was having a hard time with acne in my hairline too). Multiple coffee’s and a million Diet Coke’s used to have NO affect on youthful Vaness…

but mid-life Vaness is another gal. And this gal forces herself to drink at least 2 bottles of water every day. Whether it’s sparkling or still. Water is more present now than ever. I even keep a mini fridge stocked with bottles underneath my nightstand so I have NO excuses if I get thirsty in bed. Drinking more water and less crap has probably made the most difference. Cutting out fast food and lazy DoorDash deliveries has definitely made a big difference too. Every change, big or small, is important to sustain the clear skin and calm scalp I’ve been able to recuperate.

Something else I had to leave in my past was taking Wellbel supplements. There was a time when they were like my little miracle capsules. More than helping me grow stronger hair after having a baby, Wellbel made the skin on my face just perfect. It was wonderful. And Wellbel works…just not for me, anymore. 

SO, Along with drinking more water and less sugar and eating better, I’ve been taking Seed prebiotics/probiotics every morning and MindBodySkin, a hormonal acne supplement, every evening. Feeling better about myself and my choices, because let’s face it, I’m not giving up my cappuccino or my Diet Coke’s because happiness is important too. Cutting back in a big way, but taking Seed + MINDBODYSKIN has allowed me the advantage of changing my habits without completely erasing them altogether. Diet Coke may not be as prevalent in my life as it used to be, but we still hang.

Last but not least are the monthly procedure’s I’ve worked into my repertoire. The scalp scrub and massage being the highlight of my month, always. I’ve been going to the Pure Hair Spa in downtown Mountain View for 5 months now. And it is something I look forward to so much. 60 minutes of absolute dedication to your scalp and your hair. Pure Hair Spa, providing me with some of the help I was looking for when it came to an itchy, oily, irritated scalp, with plenty of hair loss to boot.

At Pure Hair Spa, your scalp is scrubbed and massaged. Your hair is washed and masked and combed with the best products. It’s a treat for your soul to be honest. Your head and shoulders are rubbed down. You’re finished off with a quick blow dry with Dyson dryers, no less. It’s a peaceful ritual. And I do not miss this appointment. Don’t forget that doing things to de-stress your life is important for your skin too. Nothing quite like stress to get your sebum going. But I never leave Pure Hair Spa with anything other than a smile on my face and my head in the clouds. My scalp feeling cool and clean and my hair looking fresh and soft.

Nina using a high-res camera to look at my scalp before treatment.

The scalp scrub treatment bed allows for ultimate relaxation.

Dealing with my monthly facial procedure is not as relaxing as my scalp scrub, but the results have me coming back. After an initial consult, I’ve been going to LaserAway for 4 months to get the Clear and Brilliant Laser treatment. This procedure can use different lasers depending on what results you’re most interested in. Besides pigmentation, this laser treatment is optimal for diminishing acne and acne scars, which is what I get treated for. The laser penetrates your skin a little deeper if you’re targeting acne issues. The laser strength intensifies slightly with each appointment. I’m given numbing cream for my face which soaks in for about 30 minutes before a brief 15-20 minute date with a laser. Does it hurt? If you didn’t have that numbing cream on, YES. Otherwise, it looks and feels like a sunburn. A bad sunburn. Like you spent a day in the sun without sunscreen. So, basically a stinging sensation that dissipates a few hours post-procedure. No biggie baby.

Never not wearing my protective sun shield post laser treatment.

Post laser treatment redness realness.

But WHY do I do this? This laser treatment is like a controlled burn, if you will. You’re essentially injuring the skin on your face to force skin cell turnover. Granted the one “injuring” your skin is a certified nurse. And the laser works safely and methodically. I bought a 6-month package with an extra treatment tacked on. I might continue this for another 6 months. Then go back in as I see fit. This isn’t something that needs to be continuous and never-ending. It all depends on your skin and the results achieved. But for my first time, it was essential I get this treatment once a month for 6 months. The way I looked and the state of my skin when I first went in was mortifying. It was the worst skin I’d ever had my entire life. There was just no way my skin was going to bounce back without some laser assistance to help get rid of all the scars and damage. Getting my skin cleared up with a laser treatment is great. It’s like a fresh new start each month. However, like every other change I’ve mentioned, laser treatments alone were not going to solve my problems entirely. But it sure helps!

I’ve talked about a lot of changes I’ve made and mentioned some brands and products, but to be specific, let’s wrap them all up here:

For my skincare I now exclusively use TULA “Keep it Clear” acne foam cleanser along with TULA’s “Clear it Up” acne clearing gel on an almost daily basis, morning and evening. Just depends on my skin’s condition.

However, post-laser facial, I have to use nothing but the most gentle formulations, free of acids and retinols. So, I use Clear Stem’s “Gentle Clean” cleanser followed up with their “Hydraglow” moisturizer.

Post-laser, my skin is sensitive for a week. And then I go back to using TULA to keep acne at bay. But I also use Clear Stem’s “Vitamin Scrub” exfoliator, their Face Reality “Sulfur Spot treatment” because unlike most OTC sulfur meds that only have 2% sulfur, this has 6% sulfur. AND I also use Clear Stem’s “Sunnyside” SPF 50 for my face. BEST powder SPF ever! Like SO good to wear with or without makeup because it gives you flawless baby.

For my hair, I went back to using good old Aveda Shampure. A true oldie but a true goodie. Now while that shampoo passes the pore-clogging ingredient test, not much else does. I held on to Aveda’s dry shamps because I believe it also passed the test. I adore Aveda’s Botanical Repair “Strengthening Overnight Serum” which I apply to my ends a few nights a week; even though it has avocado oil in it. When I use it at night, I sleep with my hair in a turban or a braid to ensure minimal oil passing onto my pillowcase. 

TIP: For the acne-prone, avocados are great to eat but try to avoid them or their derivatives in your products. Olive oil, jojoba oil, marula seed oil…just a few ingredients that clog your pores and cause acne-prone, hormonal biatches like myself, problemas.

I don’t use conditioner anymore. Instead I’ve opted for just using leave-in-conditioner after I’m out of the shower. I use Crown Affair leave-in and I also use their gel once in a while. Not often because the gel has an ingredient that could pose a potential problem. I don’t use gel often enough to worry about it. Love Crown Affair stuff.

For my face. For the MOST part, it’s strictly TULA and Clear Stem Skincare. TULA can be found at Sephora and Ulta. Clear Stem can be found at Neiman Marcus and Amazon besides their main website. For my hair it’s Aveda and Crown Affair for now. Both can be found at Sephora.

The laundry detergent and dryer sheets we now use are by Clean People which you can easily find on Amazon. Yay!

The hormonal acne supplement I take is also by Clear Stem skincare and it’s called MINDBODYSKIN. I take 3 capsules every day with a meal.

I also take prebiotic/probiotics by Seed. I take 2 every morning on an empty stomach, with my double cappuccino. The benefits of probiotics on your skin and overall health cannot be denied.

The filtration I use for my shower-head is by Jolie. Subscriptions to their filters to make life easier. You don’t HAVE to subscribe but it’s helpful. Your subscriptions can be modified to suit your filtration needs. I have terrible water so my filters come every 2 months but every 3 months is the norm. And yes. It’s affordable.

The most expensive change here is obviously getting those laser facials. A total XTRA much like the water filters n my bathroom. XTRA. But I digress…I got in on a deal and got my package of 6 facials for $1800. With a bonus facial added for good measure. I do love the results. So, as far as I’m concerned, money well-spent. Can’t put a price on happiness. And if my skin and my hair are in check, I’m happy. Can’t put a price on happy.

However, if you think about it, cutting down on my array of products and what I would spend on them by 99% has facilitated spending on the less-wallet-friendly luxuries like laser facials and scalp massages. And since I’m only using skincare products from 2 brands, give or take a few other products, I’m not spending money looking for my next holy grail product. I KNOW what my holy grail products are now and I’m sticking to them.

If I had to choose one or just 2 things to change, it would be my diet. I think of all the changes made, changing what I put into my body has had the deepest impact. And a close second has to be what products I use. Pore cloggers didn’t used to be a problem. But now that I know about them and what they are, there’s no going back. I can’t go back to using anything, with few exceptions, that might upset my newly delicate, highly hormonal enterprise.

Just remember, if you’re going through it like I was, it’s going to take some work. Some dedication and self-discovery. It’s a process. Figuring out what products cause you problems is a process. And it’s natural to feel depressed and defeated. So, if you’ve seen all the doctors. And you’re tired of taking medications, pills or topicals that mess with you inside and out, consider another option. Do what I did. Plan an overhaul and stick to it. Check all your ingredients and stick to non-pore-clogging products. Change your diet. Drink a shit ton of water. And be patient. Sometimes it takes a couple months for the changes you apply to make a difference. But I promise you, it’s worth it. My before and after photos are a testament. ZERO filters to show the reality of things.

With ALL that being said, I thought it could be of some value to give examples of some of my favorite products and the pore-clogging ingredients that have rendered them off limits for ME:

- The Feelist oil contains jojoba seed oil and marula seed oil.

- The Feelist serum contains ethylhexyl palmitate, dermochlorella algae, glyceryl stearate & stearic acid.

- Hydropeptide Firm-A-Fix serum contains alcohol, olive fruit oil, hydrolyzed jojoba esters & disodium edta.

- May Lindstrom Blue Cacoon oil contains shea butter & marula seed oil.

- May Lindstrom Youth Dew serum contains jojoba seed oil, olive oil & avocado oil.

- Ouai leave-in conditioner contains myristate & disodium.

- Ouai dry shampoo contains wheat.

- The Skinny Confidential Hot Shave cream contains shea butter and a helluva lot of it! Shea butter on your face is one of the worst. BUT since I love this shaving cream, I’ve repurposed it in the shower and use it to shave my legs! Bam. Solution honey.

- Lancôme Renergie serum contains propylene glycol, alcohol, myristic acid & glyceryl stearate. Another product I repurposed. Instead of using this anti-aging serum on my face, I use it on my hands! Nothing shows your age quite like your hands. Madonna knows this fact. And definitely why she wears those gloves all the time now. So, repurposing this serum for the skin on my hands was brilliant. And it’s what I plan on doing with face products I can’t use on my face! My hands, elbows and knees will be thanking me for using these wrinkle-fighters on them. 

So, remember. This all comes down to trial and error. AND a lot of patience. Maybe what works for me doesn’t work for you. But I feel like after reading all this information, you’ll have a better idea of where to start and what you need to do. 

Photo Shoot with The Ritz Carlton in Half Moon Bay

Arguably the best shot. Period.

Outtakes

This past August I was approached with a dream opportunity to not only style, but star in a photo shoot for The Ritz Carlton in Half Moon Bay, California. 

Behind the scenes

Created a flat lay inspiration board to prep for the shoot

Chris and I dressed to impress for the first scene

I was given three scenarios (checking in, eating breakfast and downtown excursion) for which I was to style outfits for my partner and I. Lucky me, my husband Chris was available to be my fellow model. And boy did I pull off a little miracle because most of you know that styling guys is not my forte. Chris is a major no-fuss kinda guy but I have a good eye, and somehow ensured our outfits played off of each other’s vibe and color scheme. I think the final product turned out great, if I do say so myself.

Prepping the behind the scenes takes

Outtakes 

Our first time experiencing this particular Ritz Carlton property and no surprise it’s lovely. Always an eye and a nose for detail, I loved the scent we were greeted with upon entering the hotel lobby. I LOVE a hotel that knows first impressions are everything, and from the moment you step foot inside, you’re immediately impressed. Which is why I cannot wait to go back for a longer stay, when we aren’t there to work so much as to play!

——— FINAL PHOTOS ———

——— That’s a Wrap! ———

Behind the scenes in downtown Half Moon Bay

Thank you to the photographer & videographer on set. It was a pleasure to work with everyone on this project.

Behind the scenes getting ready to start filming 

Shout out to the owner of this vintage Porsche. What an absolute dream car and opportunity to model with this beauty. Obviously the highlight of the shoot.

Outtakes

Shout out to the nice bellhop who opened and closed that car door probably 20 times before we got the winning shots. 

Finally, Thank you to The Ritz-Carlton crew for allowing the model a quick wine break in between takes. It was crisp. It was cold. It was good. It was needed.

The Ritz-Carlton Half Moon Bay

THIS POST HAS BEEN SPONSORED BY 

THE RITZ CARLTON 

HALF MOON BAY

#HMBpartner

ALL THOUGHTS & OPINIONS ARE MINE.

Thank You to BCV for reaching out and involving me in this project.